Understanding Narcissism Through an Existential Lens.

Narcissism is so more than a clinical diagnosis; it is a complex psychological phenomenon that has drawn considerable interest in today's society. Sadly, it is often used pejoratively, to 'label' individuals and their challenging behaviour.

The 'narcissistic spectrum' is a means of describing the range of self-focused personality traits from healthy self-confidence at one end to Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) at the other.

To understand what narcissism entails, specifically from the perspective of the mode of Psychotherapy I practice, we will look through an existential lens to gain deeper insights into the motivations and behaviours of those with narcissistic traits. That this is one approach amongst many should be borne in mind, and I operate from the premise that each yields unique insights that paint a broader picture which is undoubtedly complex.

Also, it is important to note that in this post I refer to traits, and not NPD, which demands a more specialised intervention that is beyond the scope of this article. I am therefore reflecting on general principles.

Viktor Frankl, a remarkable Psychiatrist and Holocaust survivor, who founded the Third Vienesse School of Psychotherapy - Logotherapy and Existential Analysis - provides a unique framework for exploring this subject.

Prof. Viktor Frankl Teaching

His ideas about meaning, purpose, and the human experience can shed light on the underlying existential issues that often drive narcissistic behaviour.

The Existential Framework

Existentialism revolves around the ideas of individual existence, freedom, and choice. It asserts that we are responsible for creating our own meaning, especially when faced with suffering and challenging situations. This perspective is particularly relevant in understanding narcissism, as individuals with narcissistic traits often struggle with feelings of emptiness and dissatisfaction with life. Periods of crisis often exacerbate those issues.

For instance, Frankl’s idea of the "will to meaning" suggests that our primary motivation lies in finding meaning rather than merely seeking pleasure or power. Those with narcissistic traits may seek validation and admiration from others in a misguided attempt to fill an existential void.

Research shows that individuals exhibiting narcissistic traits often report lower life satisfaction, indicating that their evidently self-centred behaviours and attitudes are attempts to assert their significance in an indifferent world.

A 2021 study found that 45% of individuals with high levels of narcissism cited feelings of emptiness when they did not receive adequate admiration.

The Role of Suffering

Suffering is an essential part of being human, and our responses shape our characters and worldviews. Frankl famously stated, "When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves."

This wisdom is key to understanding why narcissism develops in those who have faced significant emotional distress, often due to childhood neglect or trauma. For example, according to a study by the American Psychological Association, nearly 70% of individuals with narcissistic traits reported experiencing emotional neglect during their formative years.

Instead of confronting their pain, which may be too overwhelming to process, narcissistic individuals may resort to defensive mechanisms, such as grandiosity and entitlement, to protect themselves from vulnerability.

This avoidance reveals an inability to engage with their existential reality. By steering clear of genuine self-reflection, they find themselves trapped in superficial interactions and emotional disconnection. This cycle reinforces their sense of isolation, even though they may outwardly be surrounded by many people and seemingly well connected.

The Search for Identity

Identity is a cornerstone of existential philosophy. Frankl believed that a solid sense of identity is vital for mental well-being. Narcissistic individuals often show a fragmented sense of self, leading them to search for external validation to confirm their worth. This reliance creates a façade of confidence that hides deep-seated insecurities.

The quest for identity from an existential viewpoint goes beyond just projecting a false self; it involves understanding one's place in the world. For instance, a study revealed that 63% of narcissistic individuals feel pressure to maintain their image to receive admiration.

By exploring their core values, beliefs, and aspirations beyond superficial accolades, narcissistic individuals can embark on a journey of introspection. This process, difficult though it may be, can help them cultivate an authentic sense of self that is not tethered to external approval or validation.

The Impact of Relationships

Relationships significantly shape our identities and provide meaning. Frankl emphasised love and connection as fundamental to human existence. However, narcissistic individuals often face challenges in forming genuine relationships due to their excessive self-focus and difficulties in experiencing true empathy, and even love.

This lack of empathy can create a cycle of isolation, where narcissists push away those who care about them. For example, research indicates that 75% of friends and family of narcissistic individuals report feelings of frustration and sadness due to the narcissists' self-centred behaviours.

Understanding this dynamic through an existential lens highlights that these interpersonal difficulties stem from deeper existential struggles. By acknowledging the value of authentic connections, narcissistic individuals can start to break free from isolation and begin to cultivate relationships that are rich and meaningful.

The Path to Transformation

Frankl's work underscores the latent potential for personal transformation, even amid adversity and a background of significant trauma. He believed individuals could find meaning in their suffering and grow as a result.

For narcissistic individuals, transformation requires confronting their vulnerabilities and engaging in self-exploration. This is not easy, but can be framed in a manner that emphasises the value of positive outcomes. A certain amount of vulnerability, expressed appropriately, is healthy and fosters greater wellbeing.

Therapeutic approaches that incorporate existential principles can effectively help narcissistic individuals explore their motivations, behaviours, and emotions. By increasing their awareness of existential struggles, they can shift their focus from seeking external validation to discovering and appreciating intrinsic meaning.

A tailored therapeutic approach could involve applying techniques to process trauma sustained not only in formative years, but also thereafter. That combined with Logotherapy and Existential Analysis facilitates the uncovering of negative perceptions of self-worth, and ultimately, a reorientation towards a healthier, more integrated sense of self.

Embracing Deeper Connections

Understanding narcissism through an existential lens inspired by Viktor Frankl offers valuable insights into the motivations of narcissistic individuals. By viewing the existential void often at the heart of narcissism, we can respond with greater empathy and understanding.

Those exhibiting narcissistic traits often grapple with profound emptiness and an urgent need for meaning. Encouraging self-reflection, fostering genuine relationships, and allowing for transformation can aid these individuals in moving beyond narcissistic tendencies toward more fulfilling lives.

In a culture that often champions superficial success, the existential perspective reminds us of the need for deeper connections and an understanding of our shared humanity. By embracing compassion for ourselves and others, we pave the way for healing and personal growth.

That said, we must be mindful that progress can be slow, but with positive intention and hard work, therapy can make a lasting and meaningful difference. It is worth the effort.

Should you wish to discuss therapy options, please do reach out to me via email at: scottpeddie@sky.com.