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Narcissism: what is it, what causes it, and how to effectively counter narcissistic abuse.

Some forms of loneliness announce themselves loudly. Others arrive quietly, in a room full of people, when everyone else seems to know the rhythm and you are half a beat behind. That quiet ache has a name: monachopsis. It describes the subtle, persistent feeling of being out of place. Not necessarily rejected. Not always lonely in the obvious sense. More like a private sense that something about the setting, the group, or even your own life does not quite fit. "Loneliness doe

By Somayeh McKian Certified Psychotherapist, In-Training Logotherapist, Gender Studies Scholar, & Published Author When I first returned to Iran, almost four years ago, my niece Roshanan was only a few months old. I remember her as a baby, someone whose life had barely begun. During my absence, she grew up. When I returned again, she was approaching her fifth birthday, in two months. Between these two moments, an entire childhood had unfolded. She had learned to speak, ma

2 min reflection! Carl Jung wrote, 'but how can I attain the knowledge of the heart? You can attain this knowledge only by living your life to the full'.

Think for yourself!

1 Minute Reflection: 'Someone is judging you right now.....someone else is totally inspired by you'

Few love poems have entered common speech as completely as Elizabeth Barrett Browning’s “How Do I Love Thee?” Its opening question feels intimate, almost private, yet the answer reaches towards faith, memory, grief, and eternity. The poem endures because it treats love as more than feeling. It becomes a measure of the soul. Known formally as Sonnet 43 from Sonnets from the Portuguese, the poem is often read at weddings and remembered for its tenderness. Yet its power lies in

Most personality labels describe how people gain or spend social energy. An introvert may prefer solitude after a busy day. An extrovert may feel revived by company. An otrovert is different. The key question is not “Where do I get energy?” but “Do I feel a natural need to belong?” An otrovert is someone who often feels separate from groups, even when they are socially skilled, friendly, and emotionally present. They may enjoy people deeply, yet feel little pull towards group

Some of the strongest parts of us do not look strong at first. They tremble. They ask questions. They hesitate at the edge of change. They feel lost before they find their way. Kahlil Gibran captures this quiet truth in the line: “That which seems most feeble and bewildered in you is the strongest and most determined.” The quote feels almost contradictory. How can the fearful part be determined? How can confusion hold strength? Yet anyone who has lived through grief, failure,

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By Somayeh McKian Certified Psychotherapist, In-Training Logotherapist, Gender Studies Scholar, & Published Author I found an old notebook recently, in my office in Tehran. It had been sitting among other papers for years, carrying the traces of a course I attended in Tehran when phenomenology was still something I was trying to understand. The handwriting was mine, but the person who had written those pages felt strangely distant.

There are many, many, things money cannot buy. Roy T Bennet, in his book 'The Light in the Heart' highlighted 15 of those. There are of course so many more. The key message is that there is so much we either take for granted, or we do not even notice in our day-to-day lives that are meaningful and valuable. It is worth thinking about. After all, sometimes the materially poor are the richest people you will ever meet. They can teach us much about what really matters.

There is a famous song by Sydney Carter is a powerful reminder that that being there for someone who is struggling, in whatever way we can, is an act of great beauty and love. That the song is a Christian one is a simple exposition of ethics and one that we can all subscribe to regardless of our faith or religious persuasion. It is universal, the key lines of which are as follows: When I needed a neighbour were you there? I was hungry and thirsty were you there? When I needed

I have been reflecting of late on Derek Walcott's 'Love after Love'. Maybe you have a picture in your mind of a person you miss and would like to meet again? Or maybe that picture is of the 'old you', or 'real you' that has been ground down by the vicissitudes of life? Perhaps you have been questioning your identity, or your self-confidence has taken a hard knock and you no longer feel like 'yourself'? To fully immerse ourselves in loving another, we have to love ourselves fi

Betrayal can hurt more deeply than an ordinary disappointment because it often comes from someone who was expected to be safe. When trust is broken by a partner, parent, close friend, caregiver, or institution, the emotional shock can affect the nervous system, self-image, and future relationships. Betrayal trauma describes the psychological impact of being harmed, deceived, abandoned, or violated by someone a person depends on or trusts. It can happen after a single event, s

A life can turn on one honest sentence, one apology, one decision to stop doing harm. Ethical change often looks dramatic from the outside, but it usually begins quietly: a person sees the truth, accepts responsibility, and takes the next right step. That is not wishful thinking. History is full of people who changed direction after years of silence, fear, prejudice, or wrongdoing. Their stories prove a hopeful point: character is not fixed in the past. It is shaped by what p

We all experience heartbreak and disappointment throughout our lives - that new job we really wanted, but didn't get; the move to a new town or city that fell through; lost friendship or estrangement from people who matter to us. The Dalai Lama had a specific take on not getting what we want; I talk about that in this short video.

As of 1st November 2026 I will not be taking on any new therapy clients. I will however continue to work with my current clients until their therapy concludes. My focus will be on the development of teaching, training, and supervision at the Viktor Frankl Centre NI, as well as my other external teaching commitments. Thank you! Scott

When the pressures of expectation, betrayal, failure, or existential sadness make life feel meaningless - when your spark has gone - Shakespeare’s ultimate remedy is to look towards nature. Re-engaging with the natural world enables us to refocus, nourish our souls and enliven our hearts. This situational and attitudinal change is very familiar to us Logotherapists & Existential Analysts. When we lose our spark, the defiant nature of the human spirit is muted; I wrote about t

Each of us will likely experience moments of profound dejection, whether because of circumstance, or our own actions. There is nothing new or profound in that observation. But consider this - you are not alone in your travails. The Monologue in Shakespeare's Hamlet, Act II Scene 2 reflects that reality beautifully yet forcefully, where Hamlet opines to Rosencrantz and Guildenstern: 'I have of late--but wherefore I know not--lost all my mirth, forgone all custom of exercises;