Finding Strength When You Are Tempted To Give Up

Life often tests our limits with unexpected challenges and hardships. When faced with adversity, the way we respond shapes our future. The phrase invictus maneo, Latin for 'I remain unconquered,' captures a powerful mindset of resilience and inner strength. This philosophy encourages us to stand firm, no matter the obstacles, and to maintain control over our spirit and actions.

A solitary tree standing resilient on a rocky hill, symbolizing strength and perseverance.

This mindset is not about denying difficulties or pretending to be invincible or unmoved. Instead, it is about recognising that while we cannot always control what happens to us, we can control how we respond. It is a declaration of inner strength and perseverance.

In Stoic philosophy it is referred to as the 'dichotomy of control', For example, Epictetus believed that we can control are our own opinions, attitude, and actions. Everything else, including the behaviour of other people, external events, and outcomes, are outwith our control.

Now, there is an important caveat to that statement, and it is this: there are situations, such as illness, that can reduce our capacity to make decisions. For example, a person who has Frontotemporal dementia (FTD) - a condition that affects impulse control, judgement, planning, and perception - will, as a consequence, make 'out-of-character' reactions and choices. In legal parlance, that would be referred to as 'diminished responsibility'.

Notwithstanding the above, the dichotomy of control serves as an evolving narrative that underpins ethical conduct and enhances mental well-being. Such a philosophy encourages us to accept hardships without surrendering, maintain self-control and dignity, and to keep moving forward despite setbacks.

Meaning is a crucial component to invictus maneo. An example is how we view suffering. It was Viktor Frankl who wrote, 'If there is meaning in life at all, then there must be a meaning in suffering. Suffering is an ineradicable part of life, even as fate and death. Without suffering and death human life cannot be complete'.

He then went on to say that, 'In some ways, suffering ceases to be suffering at the moment it finds a meaning, such as the meaning of a sacrifice'.

We can find meaning in the most desperate of circumstances, and that sense of meaning is a deeply personal answer to a specific question. Moreover, it can change moment by moment, hour by hour, day by day, year by year; we must always be alive to those challenges.

It is worth remembering though, that remaining unconquered does not necessarily mean going it alone. Asking for help or sharing struggles with trusted friends, mentors, and psychotherapists, can provide new perspectives and renewed focus.

Finally, invictus maneo, has inspired many, from writers to leaders and everyday people who make the conscious choice to face adversity with courage.

It is fitting to end this short article with William Ernest Henley's famous poem Invictus:

Out of the night that covers me,

      Black as the pit from pole to pole,

I thank whatever gods may be

For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance

I have not winced nor cried aloud.

Under the bludgeonings of chance

My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears

Looms but the Horror of the shade,

And yet the menace of the years

Finds and shall find me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,

How charged with punishments the scroll,

I am the master of my fate,

I am the captain of my soul.