The Silent Struggle of Unspoken Desires: A New Way Of Thinking?

Desire is a powerful force that shapes our choices and fuels our passions. Yet, when desire burns quietly inside without expression, it can become a source of deep personal suffering. It can be agonising in its intensity and duration.

The Spanish Poet and Playwright, Federico García Lorca, captured this truth when he wrote,

“To burn with desire and keep quiet about it is the greatest punishment we can bring on ourselves.”

Lorca understood that when people suppress their true feelings or longings, they carry an invisible burden. This silence often stems from fear—fear of rejection, judgement, or the unknown consequences of revealing what lies beneath the surface. Over time, this internal conflict can lead to frustration, anxiety, and a sense of isolation.

Nevertheless, there are times when it is absolutely the right, respectful, and dignified thing to do. To avoid hurting another person is one such time, as is the avoidance of conflict and misunderstanding. In this context, silence may be the best answer to a very difficult question, and is as a manifestation of strength, not weakness.

It takes perseverance and resilience to sit with the aforementioned emotional distress, and not to push it away. To acknowledge our feelings, no matter how painful, is a vital step towards renewal built upon the acceptance of a reality that we must face.

It may help to think of it this way: desire is not a punishment; it is a signal of what matters deeply to us. It is a manifestation of a experience that is meaningful and profound.

In those circumstances, when we cannot share what we might otherwise want to, our challenge is to view silence as a sacrifice, not a punishment or a burden.

In life, we have to accept that fate (if indeed we find that term useful), takes us on a journey that challenges us, and is replete with finite disappointments along the way. Yet, we may view our destiny (again, if we find that term useful) as infinite, built on a hope that transcends our suffering and is an active, personal shaping of our response to the unchangeable.

Such action is about realising and reorientating the potential that we all possess - to act in love and through love - but to do so in new ways that honour our values and expand our hearts.

Lorca's truth is not an ending. It is a beginning: an invitation to feel deeply, and to hurt, as we must as sentient creatures. But our story does not end there. Love makes sure of that.