When Silence Makes Sense. Or does it?

There are times in our lives when we choose to be silent. There are a myriad reasons why we make that choice. We may feel emotionally overwhelmed, or fear that our words do not matter, or that they may make a situation worse. We might feel misunderstood, or choose silence because we are experiencing shame, or we simply believe that, for whatever reason, it is the right thing to do.

Whatever the context, silence is a powerful means of communication; where our words are inadequate, silence conveys our contrition, or our subconscious fear of being hurt, or our desire to avoid hurting others. Moreover, for people who are unaccustomed to being heard in a meaningful way, silence functions as a form of self protection: retreat feels safer, and more familiar than the unpredictability of words ever could.

Yet in the complexity of it all, in our hearts we may not want to remain silent, but our minds construct a contradictory narrative that is ultimately more persuasive. And this is where we must be careful. By choosing silence we restrict our options; we also close off opportunities for positive outcomes such as reconciliation and forgiveness. In retrospect, silence may not be a price worth paying, and the quiet pain of estrangement overwhelming.

Emily Brontë articulated the nature of this cost when she wrote: 'The world has grown dull, and I have grown numb. It's as if I'm drifting, a shadow of the person I used to be, watching life pass me by...'

The art of living involves choice and consequence. Whilst we have the freedom to decide, we are not free of the consequences of those decisions.

Silence may make sense to us in difficult and overwhelming circumstances, but we should remain cognisant that the very emotions we set out to avoid may be amplified as a result. The sadness and regret that ensues can run deep and be long lasting.

As a final point, it is important to note that we retain the capacity to re-evaluate our decisions and to change direction if we wish to do so. Therein lies our hope: our capacity to evolve emotionally and to learn from both positive and negative experiences.

Silence need not last forever. Yet it might.