'Nothing Good Gets Away'

John Steinbeck was an American Writer who won the 1962 Nobel Prize in Literature, famous for such classics as 'The Grapes of Wrath', 'Of Mice and Men', 'East of Eden', and 'Cannery Row'.

Although I have read all of the above over the years, I have found myself drawn to a beautiful letter he wrote to his 14 year old son, Thom, who was at boarding school at the time. Steinbeck offered gentle, but poignant fatherly advice after Thom confessed he had fallen in love with a girl named Susan. The letter famously concludes with the reassuring sentiment, 'Nothing good gets away'.

The bond between a Father and Son, at its best, is a sacred one characterised by love, trust, and an openness that is deeply meaningful and transcendent. This letter, which I have reproduced in full below, clearly exemplifies that.

No further comment from me is required. It speaks for itself:

New York

November 10, 1958

Dear Thom:

We had your letter this morning. I will answer it from my point of view and of course Elaine will from hers.

First—if you are in love—that’s a good thing—that’s about the best thing that can happen to anyone. Don’t let anyone make it small or light to you.

Second—There are several kinds of love. One is a selfish, mean, grasping, egotistical thing which uses love for self-importance. This is the ugly and crippling kind. The other is an outpouring of everything good in you—of kindness and consideration and respect—not only the social respect of manners but the greater respect which is recognition of another person as unique and valuable. The first kind can make you sick and small and weak but the second can release in you strength, and courage and goodness and even wisdom you didn’t know you had.

You say this is not puppy love. If you feel so deeply—of course it isn’t puppy love. But I don’t think you were asking me what you feel. You know better than anyone. What you wanted me to help you with is what to do about it—and that I can tell you.

Glory in it for one thing and be very glad and grateful for it.

The object of love is the best and most beautiful. Try to live up to it.

If you love someone—there is no possible harm in saying so—only you must remember that some people are very shy and sometimes the saying must take that shyness into consideration.

Girls have a way of knowing or feeling what you feel, but they usually like to hear it also.

It sometimes happens that what you feel is not returned for one reason or another—but that does not make your feeling less valuable and good.

Lastly, I know your feeling because I have it and I’m glad you have it.

We will be glad to meet Susan. She will be very welcome. But Elaine will make all such arrangements because that is her province and she will be very glad to. She knows about love too and maybe she can give you more help than I can.

And don’t worry about losing. If it is right, it happens—The main thing is not to hurry. Nothing good gets away.

Love,

Father