What To Do When We Don't Know What To Do

As unwieldy titles go, this one is rather good! It does however reflect a common malady, that is, when we are faced with important decisions and we simply do not know what to do for the best, what can we do?.

Added to that is the fact that decision-making is not always about the application of pure logic leading to an perfectly defined outcome, When faced with that level of uncertainty, many people feel stuck, overwhelmed, and lost, leading to chronic indecision extending to avoidance.

Such existential inertia often arises when we face complex decisions that are emotionally charged, or when external circumstances shift unexpectedly. When we are presented with new information that changes the assumptions we have hitherto adhered to, it can be emotionally and psychologically disorientating.

So, the question “What should I do when I don’t know what to do?” reflects a deeper struggle to find purpose and clarity.

What can we learn from existential philosophy and logotherapy about making difficult choices when the path forward is unclear? These approaches offer practical wisdom that helps us find meaning and direction amid uncertainty.

Understanding the Challenge

Existential philosophy addresses life's struggles by taking into account our unique way of being in the world and the context of our lives . It recognises that uncertainty is part of life and that, at some point, we must confront it rather than escape from it. Instead of offering quick fixes, the existential approach encourages us to engage with our freedom and responsibility to chart a meaningful way forward, and to crucially, to make tough decisions.

Difficult Decisions

Existential philosophy centres on the premise that individuals are free agents responsible for shaping their own lives, notwithstanding circumstances outwith their control. When making difficult decisions, this philosophical approach highlights several key points:

• Embrace freedom and responsibility: Every choice reflects your freedom to act and your responsibility for the consequences. Avoid blaming external factors or waiting for perfect conditions. Such conditions do not, and will not, exist, therefore it is vital to emphasise progress over perfection.

  
  

• Accept uncertainty as part of life: There is no absolute certainty or guaranteed outcome. Accepting this can reduce the pressure to find the “right” answer and open space for exploration and authentic decision-making.

  
  

• Focus on authentic values: Decisions grounded in your true values and beliefs lead to greater fulfillment. Reflect on what matters most to you rather than following societal expectations or external pressures.

  
  

• Face anxiety courageously: Anxiety is a natural response to uncertainty. Instead of avoiding it, use it as a signal to engage deeply and meaningfully with your choices and the range of options open to you in any given set of circumstances..

  
  

As an example, someone unsure about changing careers might feel overwhelmed by the unknown. Existential philosophy encourages them to consider what work aligns with their core values, but also to take full responsibility for the decisions they make and the consequences thereof. Rather than waiting for certainty or external affirmation, decision-making involves risk, and that should be borne in mind too.

Also, it is true to say that decisions are not made in a vacuum. We can be decisive if we tackle a question directly, but context is always important. In other words, we can use that context to work towards a final decision.

For instance, a person facing a life-changing health diagnosis might use Logotherapy (an Existential Psychotherapy) to find meaning in their experience by focusing on relationships, personal growth, or helping others, which can in turn guide decisions about treatment and lifestyle.

Practical Steps

Applying existential philosophy to decision-making involves several practical steps:

• Clarify your values: Write down what matters most to you. Use these values as a compass for your choices.

  
  

• Accept uncertainty: Remind yourself that no decision guarantees a perfect outcome. Embrace the unknown as part of life’s journey.

  
  

• Reflect on meaning: Ask how each option aligns with your sense of purpose or contributes to your growth.

  
  

• Take responsibility: Own your decisions fully, recognising your freedom to choose and the impact of your actions. Do not rely on others to make the decisions for you: their perspective is different to yours and they invariably do not have the full picture with all of its nuances.

  
  

• Face anxiety: Notice feelings of fear or doubt without avoiding them. Use them as motivation to act authentically.

  
  

• Seek support if needed: Talking with a trusted friend, or a therapist, can provide much needed guidance and clarity.

  
  

• Imagine yourself in the future: one of the approaches we use in Logotherapy is to imagine yourself, many years from now, on your death bed. Think of the decision that you are about to make. Would you see it differently? Would you feel regret at a missed opportunity?

  
  

  From personal experience of working with the dying, people are mindful of their mistakes, but of much more importance to them, as they reflect, are missed opportunities for happiness/relationships/adventure/exploration/laughter/connection, etc). They often wish that they had been less risk averse and more open to the opportunities that presented themselves.

An example of this practical approach in action, which is simplified for clarity, is as follows: someone is deciding whether to move to a new city. On reflection, they might list values like community, creativity, and stability. They accept that the move involves risks - potentially losing friends/not 'fitting in'/not liking their new dispensation/missing work colleagues - the list goes on. But, they see it as an opportunity to grow professionally and socially, to express themselves in new ways and to take advantage of new experiences. They acknowledge their anxiety but choose to act based on what feels meaningful.

Uncertainty As An Opportunity

Uncertainty is not just a barrier but also an invitation to explore who we are and what we want. Existential philosophy teaches us that difficult decisions are moments where we exercise our freedom and re-affirm our identity. Instead of fearing these moments, we can approach them as an opportunity to live more authentically and in tune with our values.

This mindset transforms uncertainty from a source of paralysis into a catalyst for growth. It encourages us to trust ourselves, accept responsibility, and find meaning in the process, particularly when the way forward is unclear.

Finally...

Your freedom to choose and your search for meaning are your greatest resources. They enable you to make the choices before you. But I would always recommend the words of Harry S. Truman as a suitable backdrop to the decisions you make: 'In any moment of decision the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worse thing you can do is nothing'. Wise words indeed.