When To Depart Without A Destination?

When the time is right to depart, whether it be from a job that has outlived its meaningfulness, or a friendship that is no longer healthy, we can often be stifled by the question, 'where am I going'?

Ruminating on that question can precipitate an existential paralysis, where the fear of the departure become an emotional and psychological blockage, where looking forward is fraught with difficulty. Consequently, we might remain stuck in a scenario that is unhealthy, but do so because it is familiar.

William Faulkner's perspective is enlightening in this respect: 'You cannot swim for new horizons until you have courage to lose sight of the shore'.' The first step, of reorientating one's focus towards the future, is the most important.

In reality, the destination will reveal itself as part of the process of moving on. That scenario might take some time to reach a meaningful resolution, but it undoubtably will.

Rumi articulated it perfectly when he wrote, way back in the 13th Century: 'When you start to walk on the way, the way appears.'

In that respect, our unconscious, subconscious, and preconscious minds have a significant role to play.

In simple terms, that means that we are not always aware of the work that is going on internally to make sense of our circumstances and engage with latent opportunities. At some point, whether through therapy, reflection, or talking things through with insightful friends, we will become consciously aware of the reason why we are on a particular emotional journey; in that moment, or series of moments, the destination becomes more obvious and makes sense.

In retrospect, we may see our journey more clearly, and perhaps, wish that we had embarked upon it sooner. But there is a great deal of growth and learning in what we have experienced, therefore a reorientation of that mindset away from 'what if' to 'what next' is appropriate.