Character and Reputation: Why We Should Care About One And Not The Other!

Understanding the difference between character and reputation is essential for personal growth and meaningful relationships. While these two concepts are frequently used interchangeably, they represent distinct aspects of how we are in the world.

It was John Wooden, the legendary American basketball coach who famously said, 'Worry about your character, not your reputation. Your character is who you are. Your reputation is who people think you are.'

Wooden's observation is the premise for this post that begins with an explanation of what sets character and reputation apart, followed by an introduction to the 24 character strength model, and concluding with some perspectives from existential philosophy and logotherapy.

What Is the Difference Between Character and Reputation?

Character refers to the qualities and values that define who a person truly is at their core. It is, by its very nature, complex. Moreover, it is internal and stable, shaped by consistent choices and actions over time. In essence, it reflects a person’s 'moral compass', anchored in how they think and behave when no one is watching.

Reputation, on the other hand, is the perception others have of a person. It is external and can change quickly based on others’ opinions, rumours, or isolated incidents. Reputation depends on social context and can be influenced by misunderstandings or deliberate manipulation.

While reputation can in some cases reflect character, it does not always do so accurately, therefore one must always remain cautious and not to be swayed by outward appearances.

It might be helpful to think of the key differences in the following basic terms:

• Character is who you really are; reputation is what others think you are.

• Character is built through consistent behaviour; reputation can be shaped by single events.

• Character is stable; reputation can fluctuate.

• Character shapes your motives in any given situation; reputation seeks to manage the perception of those motives.

• Character is inward and private; reputation is outward and public.

• Reputation can be destroyed; character remains largely unchanged.

  
  

For example, a person may perceive their character to be grounded in honesty and integrity but suffer from a poor reputation due to misleading accusations or erroneous assumptions made by others. Conversely, someone with a reputation for kindness and compassion may have exagerated those traits by carefully managing what others see, when in reality their thoughts and actions are not in alignment with that public persona.

There is much to be unpacked here, but consider the situation when an individual projects a 'false persona'. This phenomenon can be multifaceted, but at its core it is can be described as an inauthentic version of oneself, a mask created to fit in, gain approval, or deceive others, often hiding true feelings and vulnerabilities out of fear of judgement and/or abandonment.

We can think of a false persona as a 'curated' image that deviates from one's genuine self, built from societal pressures or personal insecurities to present a more desirable or acceptable front. 

The key point is that the false persona is dynamic and changes according to the target audience and circumstances. The incongruence between what appears to be and what is can be significant and substantive.

It can also be profoundly confusing. Consider the case of social media where it is not unusual for people to have a number of accounts on the same platform for specific purposes, e.g. work and personal. However, where there are multiple accounts containing differing biographical details, or foci, then that may represent a 'red flag' and prompt the question: 'what is being projected here and who is it aimed at?'

Again, this is a topic that is worth exploring, but to do it justice, we need to look far beyond this particular blog post. And that is what I will do at some point in the future.

But for now, we will dig deeper into the topic at hand, that of character traits given that they facilitate a greater understanding of ourselves and others. In that respect I view it in Nietzschean terms, that is character is measured by 'how much 'truth' we can tolerate' about ourselves, 'or more precisely, to what extent we need to have it diluted, disguised, sweetened, muted, falsified'.

Character strengths, therefore, are not a path to sainthood! Regardless of our strengths we remain flawed and often contradictory. Nietzsche makes that point abundantly clear and Carl Jung's concept of 'the shadow' reiterates that reality. We must always be aware that the unconscious part of our personality contains repressed, disliked, or unacceptable traits, instincts, and desires that the conscious self rejects - anger, rage, shame, guilt, envy, and so on.

We can project these hidden and disagreeable aspects of our shadow onto others without being cognisant of it; we all do it to varying degrees. An example would be when another person ascribes to us motivations and behaviours that we do not recognise; this may be a projection of significant aspects of their own shadow, but it might also represent the unacceptable parts of ourselves that we have yet to acknowledge!

Bringing our shadow to conscious awareness is not a pleasant task, but it remains an integral part of the work we are required to undertake in order to learn and grow in a meaningful and sustainable way.

But back to character strengths!

The 24 Character Strengths

Psychologists Christopher Peterson and Martin Seligman identified 24 character strengths that contribute to a meaningful life. These strengths fall under six broad virtues and provide a framework for understanding character in both theoretical and practical terms.

It is worth pointing out that such models are not perfect or entirely objective, but they do assist us in conceptualising important aspect of our personality and pinpointing what matters most to us.

The virtues and their associated character strengths are defined by the VIA Institute on Character as follows:

1. Wisdom - Creativity, Curiosity, Judgement, Love of Learning, Perspective, Open-mindedness.

2. Courage - Bravery, Persistence, Honesty, Zest.

3. Humanity - Love, Kindness, Social Intelligence.

4. Justice - Fairness, Leadership, Teamwork.

5. Temperance - Forgiveness, Humility, Prudence, Self-Regulation.

6. Transcendence - Appreciation of Beauty/Excellence, Gratitude, Hope, Humour, Spirituality.

These strengths form the foundation of overall character and guide how individuals respond to challenges and interact with others. Developing specific strengths helps build resilience and reflects a level of authenticity that can withstand external judgements whilst maintaining integrity.

The aim is to raise awareness of who we are and where we might want to be: that may mean enhancing current strengths, or working on others that we identify as important, or indeed concluding that some traits are just not relevant to us as pertains to our Sitz im Leben.

Remember, we are not a homogenous group, nor would we want to be, therefore an exploration of character strengths is not about making us the same, rather it is about appreciating and augmenting our unique contribution to the world.

The VIA website (VIA Character Strengths Survey & Character Reports) offers a free 24 character strengths test that you can access at any point; it will help to crystallise your thoughts and suggest new avenues of exploration.

What Does Existential Philosophy Say?

It is also worthwhile thinking about character strengths from a different perspective. For example, existential philosophy focuses on individual existence, freedom, and choice. It emphasizes living authentically and taking responsibility for one’s actions. From this perspective, character is about being true to oneself despite external pressures or societal expectations.

Existential thinkers like Jean-Paul Sartre argue that people are defined by their choices and actions, not by labels or reputations imposed by others. Reputation is seen as a social construct that can distract from authentic living. It may encourage conformity or superficial behaviour to gain approval, which conflicts with genuine character development.

Existentialism encourages embracing freedom and accepting the anxiety that invariably comes with it. This means prioritising character over reputation by making choices aligned with personal values, even if it risks social disapproval or fractures relationships. Authenticity requires courage to face judgement without compromising one’s true self.

What About Logotherapy and Existential Analysis?

Logotherapy, developed by Viktor Frankl, posits that meaning and purpose are central to human life. They offer valuable insights into character and reputation.

It emphasizes that we find meaning through unavoidable suffering, taking responsibility for our actions, and practising self-transcendence. Character is linked to the ability to find meaning and to act accordingly, regardless of external circumstances or the perception of others.

In Logotherapy, the inner attitude one chooses in response to life’s challenges is our focus. A person with strong understanding the constituent parts of their character maintains dignity and meaning, even when or perhaps especially when, their reputation suffers.

In general, an existential focus suggests that people who focus on character and eschew reputation tend to:

• Build deeper, more authentic connections

• Experience greater self-respect and confidence

• Navigate challenges with resilience

• Inspire trust and loyalty in others

Existential analysis helps people move beyond superficial concerns and instead focuses on developing a coherent and authentic self. This process involves, but is not restricted to:

• Recognizing social pressures that influence reputation

• Reflecting on personal values and beliefs

• Committing to actions that express true character

  
  

By adopting this broad brush approach, individuals can live more meaningful lives that are not predicated on adherence to the vagaries of external validation.

Practical Ways to Strengthen Character Over Reputation

Building character requires intentional effort and ongoing self-reflection. In addition to the aforementioned processes, there are some further practical steps that can make a positive difference going forward:

• Practice honesty even when it is difficult or unpopular.

• Develop courage by facing fears and standing up for your values.

• Cultivate empathy and kindness in daily interactions.

• Reflect regularly on your actions and motivations.

• Seek feedback from trusted people who know your true self.

• Focus on long-term growth rather than short-term approval.

• Accept mistakes as opportunities to learn and improve.

  
  

These habits help align behaviour with core values, strengthening character and reducing dependence on reputation.

Finally...

Reputation can open doors and create opportunities, but it is fragile, often misleading, and essentially outwith our control. Character on the other hand, provides a stable foundation for trust, respect, and genuine relationships to flourish.

I shall leave the last word to the Stoic Philosopher, Epictetus, who said, 'I laugh at those who think they can damage me. They do not know who I am, they do not know what I think, they cannot even touch the things which are really mine and with which I live'.