The Beginning Of Love...

Today marks the anniversary of the death of Thomas Merton, the acclaimed author and Trappist Monk. He died unexpectedly in Thailand in 1968, leaving behind a legacy of poetry and spiritual writing that has a timeless quality that resonates far beyond the Christian community.

Over a decade ago Br. Columba O'Neill, a Trappist Monk from Bethlehem Abbey in Co. Antrim, and I set up the Merton Fellowship for Peace and Contemplative Living in Ireland. It was an informal network of individuals interested in living a life of peace and contemplation based on Merton's example.

We were cross-denominational (including people from Presbyterian, Catholic, Methodist, Anglican, and Moravian traditions) and inter-faith (primarily Buddhist and Bahá’í) in composition, but with a common aim of promoting peace, dialogue, and co-operation across the Island of Ireland.

Merton's writings encompassed all that is important in human life - love, peace, spirituality, meaning and purpose. From my perspective as a Logotherapist and Existential Analyst, I was particularly drawn to the beauty of his concept of love and the manner in which he articulated it.

One of the most moving reflections on love he wrote was in his book, 'No Man is an Island'. He said:

“The beginning of love is the will to let those we love be perfectly themselves, the resolution not to twist them to fit our own image. If in loving them we do not love what they are, but only their potential likeness to ourselves, then we do not love them: we only love the reflection of ourselves we find in them”.

Simple, yet profoundly meaningful: true love lies in accepting a person for who they are in their entirety. That means loving them unconditionally, understanding their journey and what is important to them, celebrating their uniqueness, and affirming their inalienable value.

To love means to see the person as a sacred gift, despite, or perhaps even because of their very human imperfections. The rich and complex tapestry of personality and being can only be appreciated and felt profoundly through the lens of love, and that is why it is our greatest calling.

Merton appreciated that great truth.

May it live in your heart also.