Finding Meaning in Unspeakable Tragedy: Colin & Wendy Parry

As part of my book, 'Finding Meaning in Conflict: The Story of Northern Ireland' I had the privilege of interviewing Colin Parry whose 12-year-old son, Tim, was killed when two IRA bombs exploded in Warrington, England, on 20th March 1993. Johnathan Ball, age 3, was also killed and 54 were injured.

In 1995, Colin and his wife Wendy founded what is now known as the Tim Parry Johnathan Ball Peace Foundation, a charity that promotes peace and co-operation.

This short excerpt from the interview focuses on Colin’s experience of filming a BBC Panorama documentary programme filmed in Northern Ireland, the Republic of Ireland, and the USA. The Parry’s wanted to understand why their son had been killed, and to understand the wider conflict at the time.

These are Colin’s words:

‘Those episodes were always the either in Belfast or Boston. We had no problems whatsoever in Dublin and another town in the south (Republic of Ireland) that the camera crew took us to. The atmosphere down in the Republic was very welcoming: considerable warmth and friendship.

Wherever we went in Northern Ireland, people were, I don't know whether it was just uneasiness with us because of what had happened to us, were desperately wanting to get into conversation with us.  

So, we went to families in the Falls Road (Republican/Nationalist) and families on the Shankill Road (Loyalist/Unionist). The conversations, I think particularly with the Republican families, on were not easy to listen to because of course, they did in fact, justify what the I.R.A. did as the proceeds of war. You know, it is Britain's fault and Britain should pay a price, although not that they felt we should pay the price as a family unit. We were just part of the proceeds of war.

And Boston, I found particularly difficult with Irish so-called Irish Americans, who were even more rigid in their absolute animosity towards the UK and that, well that everything British was anathema. And I must admit, I find it very hard to sit there and just maybe seem like I'm a bystander listening to their views. You know, I argued back and so I'm not I'm not a shrinking violet, which is pretty obvious. I said, listen, you know, history is certainly going to change. And yes, as a nation, we may look back – and there were terrible mistakes. And the thing to do is to make things better, not to concentrate on who is guilty of what, because you never move forward.

Anyway, the programme went out; we got 7 million viewers. It's incredible and growing out of all of that was the sense that there was something there to tap into. There was goodwill. It's just that you didn't often meet the people with good will. You were presented with the people who had ill will’.

Colin and Wendy Parry are a reminder that out of unspeakable tragedy and heartache can come some good. That they found meaning in such circumstances is a testament to their courage and determination. They chose their own way, and in doing so made a difference.

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